Sample Quotes for January, 1999

New! Not included in any of the 637 Best Things collections by Robert Byrne

"On my television set, C-Span and the Home Shopping Network are on the same channel. I'm able to buy congressmen."

Bruce Baum

 

"I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs for me."

Novelist Thomas Gifford

"Monday is the root of all evil."

Jim Loy

"If there is such a thing as resurrection, I hope it's not like high school--the really cool dead people won't hang out with me."

Niles on the sitcom Frasier

"March is a windy month. Help out by keeping your yap shut from time to time."

John (Crabby Road) Wagner (cartoonist)

"A question that has no right to be asked doesn't deserve a truthful answer."

Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.

"The gun is our national symbol. Who owns an eagle?"

Mike Royko (1933-1997)

"Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice."

Mike Royko (1933-1997)

"Never consult a career counselor because the best career he could find for himself is career counselor."

Scott (Dilbert) Adams (cartoonist)

"I don't eat salmon because I identify too much with spawning, threshing around, and death."

Michael Feldman on his radio show Whadya Know?

"If it weren't for erroneous conclusions, people would never reach any."

Richard Russo